Just go for it

I’ve been contemplating starting a blog for years.  I always thought it sounded like such a fun hobby and a great creative outlet.  I’ve even daydreamed about becoming a professional blogger and how it could be the perfect work-from-home job (sshhh, I know how unrealistic that generally is).  However, I have Type A-itis and with that comes a very all-or-nothing, perfectionistic approach to projects—any Type A’s out there, ya feel me? How would I narrow down what I would blog about? What would I call my blog? Would I have time to devote to it? Would I stay committed? Would people want to read what I have to say? All of these questions and concerns stifled my initial daydreams from going anywhere.  The idea of a blog would flutter around in my brain, gain a little momentum, and then eventually dissipate into the abyss. 

Another thing that’s held me back which is more difficult to explain is the doubt of whether this is in fact what I’m supposed to be doing.  It feels like in today’s culture, there is such an emphasis on “finding your passion”.  You hear it everywhere: “go out there and find what you are passionate about, and do that!” Quite frankly this advice gives me anxiety, and I can’t be the only one!  It seems to imply that you should be able to find this ONE thing that you love, that it will be enough to fulfill you completely,  and that you will have some sort of magical “aha” moment when you discover what it is.  I’ve always been envious of those people who have found their passion, are good at whatever it is they enjoy,  and have somehow turned it into a career.  And then there’s me; I’m still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.  To me, a commitment-phob, it feels like you are opening one door and simultaneously shutting every other one out there.  “I love doing XYZ, but if I choose that then I won’t get to do ABC which also sounds great!”. For reference, I’m the girl that couldn’t decide on a major, graduated from undergrad with a degree in Economics only to go on to grad school for Marriage and Family Therapy, but that’s a story for another time.  My point is, I’ve held back for so long, but finally I decided that if it’s something I want to do, I just have to go for it.  I’ll never know whether it’s something that will bring me joy unless I try it.  And just because I’m trying it doesn’t mean I’m shutting out every other possibility or that I’ve somehow made a lifetime commitment.  If I wait for an “aha” moment, it may never happen.  If I wait for a magical sign from the universe that this is my shot, I could be waiting forever.  (Anyone else out there constantly looking for signs? Just me?)

Anyways, here I am, jumping in. The intent of this blog is to write from the heart, a mixture of my trials and triumphs, experiences and advice, of trying to balance clean eating, whole body wellness (physical and mental health), and motherhood.  Perhaps these topics will change or morph as time goes on.  But I also know that I could keep editing, revising and overthinking for months or years and still wouldn’t have it figured out.  As they say, perfection is overrated.  So instead, I’m going to take a deep breath, say a little prayer, and just go for it.